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Thursday, June 10th, 2004
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Stanley Coleman has started talking to me.
This is not fucking funny.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Little Samael disappeared. ;_; <-- I do this, but I really don't mind all that much. Maybe he went back to hell. *slightly maniacal eyetwitch*
But, you know, I think this might finally mean I can go back to having a... normal life? Haha, it's been so long since I've even thought about one of those.
I guess that's just what happens when everyone around you is just... just unavoidably fucked up.
So. Yeah. I thought I was done being angry about it, but I guess not. Actually, now that we're being perfectly honest here, YES, I am FUCKING angry about it! Back then... nothing would have mattered if I could've had Dad back. But now I do, so I--
...I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
It's... hard not to hate Alessa sometimes. Even though I know that probably means I'm hating myself, too. But damn, sometimes I think if I could just have been any other person...!
It's a "why me?" kinda thing, I guess.
*reads back on this entry so far* My writing's been getting more disjointed lately. It's like I think one thing, but before it's finished running through my head it gets replaced by something else. Maybe it's because even after all this time, I still... don't think Alessa is me. I don't want her to be, but...
*disgusted sigh* I thought I was over this already...
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, January 30th, 2004
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So, um... you're all probably wondering why I haven't written in so long. Well... er, it's like this.
I guess I didn't get rid of that damn fetus after all. So... long story short, I have a kid now.
S/he's(?) really small, like only about three inches tall, but it's all red and has horns and wings and flies around and has breasts that, proportionally speaking, are way bigger than mine. *grumble* Sometimes it cries for food, but it'll only accept blood and some weird blue cube things that the aliens brought us. I've been feeding it ketchup instead, and it doesn't seem to notice the difference... But does anybody know what to feed God? I didn't think I would have to.
Dad understood, though... and Dahlia's actually been really helpful for some reason. She kept screeching at me to name it Samael, though, so...
*worried* I didn't know... d'you think my drinking messed it up or something? I mean, it's a god and all... a little god...
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
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Joined the Otherworld forums not realizing that everyone I know is pretty much following the MUCK scheme of things. :\ Er... so I guess my alter-ego it is, then!
*feels so lame and stricken with identity displacement AGAIN. I'm me, aren't I? ;_;*
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 26th, 2003
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Mkay so Im'm a litele ibuzzed right now cuz DAd left the eggnog unattended...buit I'm ina really4s good mood so i wanteeed to write!
I got some rewally cool stuff for Christmas.. liek the CD that this song ias on! and the grays (iso had to spell taht llike five times before i got it right) got me a new outfit for Princesds heart, though the skirt is a litle short (like I care that much). Alien dfighter for justice Princess HEAtrt!! heeeeeen/shin! power UP!
whoo im dizzy
*wobbles*
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, December 11th, 2003
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Today I ran into a door.
Dad, you told me I'd get over it! ;_;
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
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Sometimes I feel like I don't live in my own skin. I see and talk and hear, but I just don't feel... not how I should. How am I supposed to feel knowing these hands aren't just mine?
I wish I could put Alessa away into some dark place where I'll never have to deal with her again. What's so wrong about only wanting to hold onto the happy memories?
Memories of myself and the time I had with you, Dad. You are one of the two most important things in my life, ever.
The other is me.
I'm not Alessa anymore. I don't think I'm even Cheryl now, honestly. But if Alessa and Cheryl make Heather, then what am I now?
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2003
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Monday, November 24th, 2003
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*cracklecrrrkweeesnzzkt!*
Huh? Radio?
Dad, what's going on with that radio? o_o
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
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| Subject: | This is so creepy. |
| Time: | 10:57 pm. |
| Mood: |  tired. |
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Somehow I wound up in that hotel across the lake. And everyone I know is there! Well, except for the grays. But they'll come as soon as Dad calls 'em. T.T Ugh, sometimes I think he likes them more than me! *angst*
But you know, it's not half-bad here if you kill the door-blob-things that come through every once in a while. One of them jumped on James's head. Eheh, that was actually pretty funny.
James is... n.n; *glances at Dad nearby* Er, well, nevermind.
I think Dahlia's trying to keep the aglaophotis from me. Whenever I ask about it she just pulls out the Flauros and my uterus goes CRAAAAYZEE. >__< That's not cool. That's REALLY not cool.
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, November 20th, 2003
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Okay, so here I am. I just thought I should check in, you know? I'd say more, but it's past my bedtime and I don't want Dad barging in with his "go to bed you need to be rested for school!" crap.
And then he lets the grays take me for the night. Way to parent, Dad.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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heathermason's journal
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